Review of Heileman's Special Export
Posted By Ken Monday, 05 October 2009 16:02
This is a beer that I picked up at the liquor store along with the Magic Hat Roxy Rolles, and I'll explain in the review some of the motivators to even touch something made from Heileman's. Never trying their stuff before, I thought the trip would be an ample opportunity to do so, seeing as how I never really noticed this stuff in Indy anywhere. Awhile back Zach did a review on Old Style, which he completely shredded. See if the Special Export suffers the same fate, or if this one actually surprised.
Ken's Review
Taste: C- Okay, so Special Export doesn't really cut it here. When you drink it, you get a somewhat watered-down flavor of a Pabst Blue Ribbon, then it comes at you with a metallic taste. By no means the worst thing I've ever tasted, and I cannot legitimately say I was expecting good things here, but it fell about where I expected it to in this arena.
Packaging: B- Special Export's packaging kind of pisses me off, because it has a world map in the background, with "Special Export" in a life saver, and a flagship in the center. This is bullshit, in my opinion, because it makes it sound like it is some kind of special beer that had to travel across the world to get to you, when in reality it is no less skanky than it's cheap-beer bretheren.
Value: B+ I do have to say that despite the taste, the value of this was pretty good. I picked up a sixer of 16 ounce cans for $3.99. You don't get that much beer for that little often, even though there is a reason why it is so cheap. Still, this was the main motivator to try it out. Even knowing it would probably suck ass, for $3.99 it is fully worth it to me to have a review of an obscure(r) beer.
Drunkeness: ? I searched all over the Internet, and the packaging, even the brewer's website, and nowhere was I able to track down what the alcohol content was on this swill. If I ever find out I'll update this section, but from what I've heard others say it is pretty decent and this is the department that makes Special Export worthwhile; getting tanked for cheap.
Overall: C Even though expecatations were low, and feel in that range of despair upon trying, I am glad that for a few bucks I was able to get a review of this down. If you are the type that can get past skanky metallic tastes in your beer, and want a cheap tool to get slammed quickly, then this may be a good choice for you. I don't, however, even want to imagine what the morning after is like following a sixer of this shit. Overall, do not even waste your time or money on this one unless you fall in the above category of quick-drunk-seeking people.