Review of Jaguar High Gravity Lager
Posted By Ken Sunday, 02 August 2009 14:42
This was a selection Zach picked up on a trip to Milwaukee not too long ago, along with Classic Ice, which I have not reviewed yet. Since he had never seen this stuff around where we live, he decided to pick some up to try, and last night at the IndyCar race in Kentucky we finally had a chance to crack a couple open and give them a whirl. Read on to see what this was like.
Ken's Review
Taste: D+ Jaguar High Gravity Lager does start off pretty decent, but not for long. After the initial 1.1 seconds that it is on your tongue the taste goes from a little bit of a sweet fruity taste (which shocked us) to an immediate pit of harsh nastiness. The back end tastes like you threw some rotten fruit in your mouth. Why a H.G. has a taste like this, I am not sure, but it isn't worth that initial goodness to have the ending smack your taste buds around.
Packaging: A Of course the Jaguar is going to have a bad-ass packaging. It is a completely black can with the word "Jaguar" written sideways up the can in red lettering resembling a jaguar's claws carving out the letters. Then in blue there is a jaguar that looks like he has just found you and is ready to pounce your ass and fuck you up. I guess one could argue the packaging displays what the taste is like: things seem fine then out of nowhere you get trampled by some nasty shit.
Value: C+ Zach got a 4-pack of what I believe were 16 ounce cans for $2.50. So I can't hate on the value too much, since you get a lot for cheap, despite the fact that it may not be worth even forking over that little cash for the return on investment you get in this swill.
Drunkeness: A- Jaguar High Gravity whoops your ass with an 8.3% alcohol content. God love you if you want to actually get your drunk on with this. I cannot imagine what the spoiled fruit backlash would be when this shit comes back up. Drunk for cheap, yes, but is it really worth it? Probably not.
Overall: C The only thing keeping Jaguar from completely bombing in the overall score is the can. It is just too badass, and representative of the taste, that you can't deny it. One thing that was really interesting and pretty amazing about a H.G. like this is that the smell of it is really nice. The aroma that comes off of it is way better than anything your mouth is going to get from it. Try this one with caution, because it may smell friendly and harmless, but once it gets on your tongue you are pretty much fucked.