Review of Four O Malt Liquor
Friday, 19 January 2007 12:22
This review is of a malt that I (Zach) mistakenly picked up during halftime of the Colts-Ravens playoff game. We decided to run out to get some libations for the 2nd half and a 24 ouncer of Four O was one of my purchases. You can see Ken enjoying it in the photo. We didn't get a close-up of the can, but will try to remember for the future.
Read on for the reviews...
Zach's Review
I'll start by stating that I think I might want to reconsider hitting the liquor store to do malt shopping after having already had a few. I started the evening with a Sparks and I guess I was either buzzed from that or empowered after seeing Ken throw down for the 40 of Magnum. Actually, I think it may have been the $1.29 price tag. I figured, what the hell, for a little over a buck, it can be all bad, right? I was wrong, very wrong. Anyway, here are the details and my grades.
Taste: D The first sip of this swill was certainly cringe-inducing, but not terribly so. Since I was early in the can, I figured I could get through it without too much trouble. Apparently, in the process of making Four O, the only part that could be considered "good" rises to the top and is consumed in the first drink. After the first drink, it was all downhill as I struggled to get down the entire 24 oz. I'm just glad they didn't have a 40 of this. Fortunately, I was able to pawn some of this off on my helpless friends and it all went down. Interestingly enough, one of them didn't think it was too bad, so either he was drunk or doesn't have any taste buds. I developed a headache as the 2nd half went on, but I'm not sure if it was this stuff or the game. I figured since this stie is still young, I would save the D- or F rating for later.
Packaging: B This was actually a highlight of Four O. This drink is clearly gunning for the urban market, but could be considered cool or trying too hard. Either way, it is a nice colorful street scene with the name written in graffiti with the catchphrase "Street Legal". Not so sure it should be, but I'm sure there is worse out there. I liked the all-over can design, so it gets high marks in my book. Now, if they would have spent half as much time developing the drink as the can, we might have something.
Value: C+ This stuff tastes horrible, but I guess for $1.29 I can't complain too much. Can't say that I would buy it again when you can get a 40 of something for $1.99, but maybe if I was back in the college, I would consider it.
Drunkeness: B+ This is where Four O really excels. It throws down the gauntlant for other malts with a very potent 10%. Unfortuantely, you can taste every bit of that. If you want to get hammered, just throw a couple of these down or find the 40 version and you are in for a hell of a ride.
Overall: C- I give Four O a fairly high overall rating, just because I think it does what it was made for, getting you drunk cheap and fast.
Ken's Review
Before I rate this I must be fair and preface this review by saying that I had already put away a few Miller Lites and part of a 40 of Magnum before trying this stuff. So this should give you a really good impression about how this stuff is when you read the review, and remember that I had already been drinking beforehand.
Taste: C- I'll go with this grade on taste because you at least get a decent taste in the first 0.89 seconds it hits your tongue. It isn't until you swallow it and the real taste of it starts to come at the back of your throat. The best way I can discribe the taste of this stuff is Robitussin. It absolutely tastes like you took a cap full of Robitussin once you get it down. I would have gone lower on my score, but since the taste at least started okay, I'll be a little kind.
Packaging: B+ I think the packaging of this is pretty cool, and does reflect an urban feel. I really don't know why they call it "Street Legal", because if this is "Street Legal" then I don't know that any of us should ever leave our homes and go out into the streets again. When the can looks better than the drink tastes, you have no business saying you are legal in any way, shape, or form.
Value: A- I am giving the value such a great rating here just because I didn't pay for it. If you can find someone to fork the $1.29, while it isn't much, it will put you more at ease on drinking this stuff. This is kind of like the equivalent of a used car, in that more than likely you will get it home and find something wrong with it, but if your parents or someone bought the car for you, then how can you bitch?
Drunkeness: B- Drunkeness-wise, I had only a few sips, so I can't give an accurate read on what a full can of this will do. I do know, however, that I woke up the next morning with one bumping headache for a few hours. This could have been an adverse reaction to the Magnum, or it was angry over the superior quality of the Miller Lite in comparison to it, but I don't know that I would want to find out what the morning after a full can is like.
Overall: C+ I am going a little bit further up the scale for the overall review of this drink. I do agree that it gets you drunk fast and cheap, and meanly in both categories, I might add. If nothing else, I appreciate the fact that it was something fun to try, and provided for a lot of good laughs while enjoying it.