Review of Dog Bite High Gravity Lager
Posted By Zach Tuesday, 01 March 2011 21:26
All right, so this seems to be a familiar theme. I’m writing a review and starting off by talking about how it has been too long and I need to do them more often. Maybe one of these days we’ll get our asses in gear and do them like we should. One a month is pretty pathetic! I’m come on; it isn’t like we are out of crappy ass beer and malt to try!
But I digress; time to actually do the review. This time around we I tried Dog Bite High Gravity Lager. I’m still not exactly sure what this means other than shitty taste and high ABV if past history is any indication. This bad boy was tried during a recent LAN party. Read on to see how it stacked up in the crowded high gravity arena.
Taste: D- Well, we may not know the exact definition of high gravity lager, but in the case of Dog Bite, it sure as hell doesn’t mean good taste. This beer makes you shudder as the first swill is going down. While it isn’t the absolute worst from the start, it really kicks in as you let it linger. I’m not sure if the can leached into the beer or they add some fancy metallic shavings, but that was sure the aftertaste I got. Unfortunately, for the poor bastards who tried some that night, the taste didn’t go away quickly. I have to hand it to the masters behind Dog Bite, they sure figured out how to make a terrible taste linger.
Packaging: B+ Here is where Dog Bite is kicking some ass! As usual, the makers of these bottom shelf drinks can’t spend more than 2 cents making the brew, but they sure can come up with some eye-catching cans. First off, it is a bright orange, which grabs your attention. Then you notice the three-headed dog, which I can only assume, is a Harry Potter rip-off. Of course, they are barking with vicious teeth. There is some weird scribbling that says DOG BITE which must be trying to convey that this is some bad ass beer. Other than that, it is a fairly plain 24-oz tall boy. I like the lack of bullshit claims about being premium and the world’s best. Maybe the folks down at Rock Wall Brewing Company know their product is shit.
Value: B- Once again, I can’t remember the exact price paid, but I think it was in the neighborhood of $2.50. That isn’t bad for a 24 ouncer of high gravity quality. Wait, what did I just say? I think taking another sip from the can that has been sitting on the counter for 4 days may have been a mista….. Ok, I’m back! I’m not really sure what happened, but I think I may need a new keyboard and some pants. Anyway, on with the review!
Drunkeness: A I hate to give Dog Bite too much credit, but a tall boy at 10% sure is a great way to get blitzed. As with any malt or hg brew, the problem is drinking it fast enough so you don’t taste it. Fortunately, we here at DW have years of experience at gulping and know how to get this shit down fast! Maybe we’ll teach a class sometime.
Overall: D Well, here we are in the D range again for another shit-ass hg beer. I can’t say I’m surprised, but it would be nice to hit a diamond in the rough every once in awhile like with Magnum or King Cobra. Instead, we keep trying what is out there and coming back empty-handed. Maybe you’ll want this for your malt can collection. Remember, we drink this shit so you don’t have to!