Review of Steel Reserve High Gravity aka "When Did a Steel Beam Hit Me in the Head?"
Posted By Ken Tuesday, 30 January 2007 16:28
Ken's Review
Taste: C One normally should be very cautious when a drink says it is "High Gravity". There is a good reason for this. Tasting the Steel Reserve High Gravity makes you wish that you lived on a planet that did not have this junk around. The taste of Steel Reserve is not quite like licking a steel beam, but pretty damn close. It has a mild split-second in your mouth before turning kind of rancid and leaving the taste all the way down the back of your throat as you swallow it.
Packaging: B Packaging is probably the only thing I can commend this drink for, even though there is not a lot of originality to the can. It is, silver, and made to give off the feeling of steel. There is a giant "211" in red letters that runs vertical down the can, which doesn't make much sense to me and I can't find a definitive reason for it anywhere.
Value: D Value is just not there. I purchased a tall boy 22 ouncer of this stuff, and it cost me almost $2.00, which is very poor considering that it tastes like dank ass. That's right, I said "dank ass". For my money, there are a lot better alcoholic beverages I could spend $2.00 on, even in a 12oz. variety. This malt just totally isn't worth it.
Drunkeness: B This area is a tough one. It contains an 8.1% content, which is good for getting you messed up fairly quickly, depending on your drinking regiment. However, from my experience, this is not a good drink to get messed up on. I was feeling buzzed and doing pretty good for about 15 minutes after drinking this stuff behind everything else, and then out of nowhere it rushed me like the Spanish Inquisition. I won't go into details, but let's just say that all day Sunday was spent pretty much in bed watching Comedy Central. If you are looking to get jacked up quick, be my guest. Otherwise, go for a true liquor.
Overall: D I can't give any props to this drink whatsoever, other than packaging, and that isn't what I paid for. The quality of this stuff is poor, it leaves you feeling like shit to where you could swear a steel beam hit you at some point during your drunken state. Please, no matter how curious, no matter how drunk you already are, even if someone buys it for you....stay away!
Zach's Review
My review is probably going to go a little different than Ken's as he clearly didn't like the old 211. Of course, I had already been driinking a bit, so that may influence some of my review.
Taste: C This malt was no wear near as bad as the crap known as Four O, but there sure is a lot better stuff out there. The first drink was nearly as cringe-inducing as Four O with me having flashbacks to the funky can with the shitty taste. I must say that after I got over the inital shock, the Steel Reserve got a bit better. Don't get me wrong, this is still some nasty ass malt, but it seemed to get better as the 24 ounces began to slowly diminish. Or maybe it was because I was pretty much already drunk...
Packaging: B- This can isn't half bad, as it is primarily stainless steel looking with a lot of writing on it. If Ken had actually read the important info on the can, he would know that 211 was steel back in Mideval times. Wow, that is some food for thought for those drunks out there! Ok, that really isn't, but they are trying. All the BS that they put on the can concerning its origins and how it is "High Gravity" seems to have taken a lot of time. Next time, they should put more thought into the quality of their malt and less into the dumb ass stuff on the can. The side of the can also touts how they have more ingredients than their competitors. Maybe it is just me, but since when is more crap in your drink a good thing?
Value: C Not much to say here. The value is pretty much average for a malt in it's league. Although, it avoids the C- by have higher alcohol than some.
Drunkeness: B This is one area where Steel Reserve hits it's mark. I'd say putting down at least 2 of these 8.1% monsters will fuck you up pretty good. Unfortunately (or maybe not), I wasn't able to do this as I was already drunk. It sure did make me not want to finish the Foster's I drank after it. I think that would have resulted in me joining Ken on the sidelines the rest of the night.
Overall: C Despite having a fairly nasty ass flavor, Steel Reserve does have some merit. It is a pretty good malt for finishing off a night or making sure your night ends over the toilet. Plus, you can muse over their writings on the can, assuming you are coherent enough to read them. Having said that, I sure as hell wouldn't recommend drinking this unless you've had at least 4 other drinks. Once those taste buds are shot, might as give this one a whirl.