Review of Colt 45 Malt Liquor
Posted By Ken Monday, 04 August 2008 20:36
I'm sitting in my hotel room in Louisiana, about to write a review on a malt liquor that will surely solidify Drinker's World as a legit alcohol review website. Yes, it is the one, the only, Colt 45. This one came about as a part of a Saturday night of drinking random stuff (again) from the liquor store. It is about time we got Colt 45 involved, so read on to see what the verdict is.
Ken's Review
Taste: D The first thing I did when I opened my Colt 45 was to smell it, and the smell and taste both rank somewhere at the bottom of the same scale. Initially it doesn't feel like it is going to be that bad. But ones this swill settles on your tastebuds and rapes them, you understand why this is a malt liquor that is cheap but no one ever seems to be drinking it. How this stuff has lasted so long can only be a result of bums and homeless people championing its existence. This stuff, I don't mind saying, is shit.
Packaging: C Colt 45's packaging even rates with the taste. There is nothing at all special about this label, other than a red bucking horse that appears in a small space at the bottom left. The words "Colt 45" are slanted backwards with a dropshadow, I guess trying to make it seem better than it is. For me, it doesn't work.
Value: A Now, I put the value at an A because it is generally relatively cheap. Otherwise how would this crap keep appearing on shelves, unless when those of us who decide to pick one up are drinking a bottle from 1964 that never made it off the shelf then, but thankfully can make space for some newer bottles of Colt 45 that will eventually be consumed in 2032.
Drunkenness: B+ Colt 45 comes in at 6.1% on the alcohol chart. Not bad if you want to get trashed, but kind of low for a malt liquor. Perhaps if there was more alcohol you could get drunk faster and not be in as much pain from the taste....? Just a suggestion.
Overall: C- While Colt 45 tastes like dank ass, it is an inexpensive way to get blitzed. I don't think this is something you want to make a mission or anything, but if you want to play a game of dare or something with your friends and get them trashed, this is a great malt to play games with. In any scenario where you can avoid drinking it, however, you will be much better off. This is a "classic" but one that should stay on the shelf for perhaps another 30 years.